The Immunology of curses and possession

Like many others, I grew up in an environment rife with religious propaganda. I remember some of the most ridiculous stories growing up—stupid ideas that still persist in some parts of the world today. Ideas like, “You shouldn’t do meditation or yoga because that invites the devil.” In fact, I remember friends of mine who were personal trainers and instructors wanting to introduce simple Hatha Yoga to gyms. The gyms, however, wouldn’t allow it because some people believed that just having yoga at their gym would invite the devil into their midst. It’s funny how these unfortunate ideas cause so much damage psychologically and physically to people. This is why it’s so important to eliminate this rubbish.

Here’s a personal story that happened to me when I was very young. I was about 16 at the time. I grew up as a typical goth, metalhead kid, into gangs and rebellious things, and a bit of a bad boy, so to speak. Even though my mother was well-intentioned, I was a rebel from the start, trying to find myself in the process, exploring different aspects of occult books, and picking up everything I could read before having the benefit and privilege of proper training, education, and initiation.

Even though I was starting my journey, I wasn’t very clued up on most of the different things. It was early in the process when I started meeting other people and exploring different things. At one point, I got to work with someone I perceived as a “light worker.” I’ve had a conversation on this show with JS Garrett about the dangers of light workers, and I want to explore that a bit more now.

This individual highlighted that a lot of the issues I was facing were because I was “demonically possessed.” Being young and impressionable, I didn’t know any better. She pointed out how different issues and problems in my life were proof of curses and proof of demonic possession. I had a simple right-hand psychology at that point, so I liked the idea of being demonically possessed and feeling that these forces had control over me. Soon, I started noticing them—they started affecting me, attacking me, and events began to unfold.

I then went through the process of an exorcism. The exorcism was an enduringly painful process, both psychologically and physically. It pushed out a “hotel” of different entities because as she got rid of one demon, the next one would show up. I was “Legion,” so to speak. She exercised this entire hotel of entities, and it was a very dramatic and traumatic event. I left there feeling light and good, although in a brutalized state. I went home, and shortly after, all of this came back, but it came back worse—a lot worse.

It got so bad that I turned away from what I was practicing in the magical cultures and traditions and ran to my family and the nearest Christian church. I needed to exercise the demon. I remember sitting in prayer circles and groups, where the priests would say they saw demons, chains of hell, and all sorts of things around me. Keep in mind, I didn’t practice left-hand path at that point in my life. In fact, I was the guy who thought we should send “light” to all those evil satanists out there—they need the Lord. Not exactly, but you get my drift.

I had that hallucination of duality—of good versus evil. That was real for me at that time in my psychology. I kept going to that religious gathering, and the people inside considered me to be a prophet. The reason they considered me a prophet was that, try as much as I could, I couldn’t switch it off. I would sit in their prayer circles and trances and see visions, like a man standing on the stage. I’d mention it to someone, and they’d say, “Oh, that’s someone’s grandfather. You’re a prophet! You’re blessed by the Lord.” But it just kept getting worse.

At one point, I was sitting there, staring back at them, thinking, “I can’t deal with this. I thought I was getting help, but it’s just getting worse.” I left, ran about four or five kilometers, frightened, in a horrible place, thinking I couldn’t deal with this. I went back to the thing I was trying to run away from, which was spiritualism. I thought that my practice of spiritualism and the occult was making me susceptible to these things. I went and sat in a circle because I had nowhere else to go. Clearly, exorcisms and prayers weren’t working—they were making it worse.

For the first time, I felt calm. I remembered something someone said to me before I ran away: “Adam, it’s you.” I thought, “No, it’s not me, it’s the devil.” But they insisted, “No, you’re the devil.”

None of that made sense to me at the time. I sat there and noticed a gentleman in the left-hand corner of the room. I looked at him and saw him draped in black. At first, I thought, “Oh, it’s the evil,” but then I let myself go with it. I breathed it in and saw a Graham Hancock book and some light coming through. I wondered, “What if this is all symbolic? What if this is my mind trying to interpret energy? How about I give up this good and evil, demons and angels stuff for just a moment?”

As I did, the anxiety dissipated. I kept looking at this individual and kept breathing. When we finished the meditation, they asked if anyone had any messages. I thought, “I’m probably crazy anyway, so I’ll just say whatever’s in my mind because who cares anymore.” I told this guy, “Listen, I see black around you, but I also see light. I see a Graham Hancock book, and it means you’re studying books like that, but every time you get an idea, you rationalize it away.”

He stood there, astonished, asking, “How the heck did you know exactly what book I was reading?” I realized then that what was happening to me wasn’t that I was being attacked or demonically possessed. The demonic possession was the result of my beliefs. I was turning my practice in magic, my Hermetic system of the Golden Dawn, and the banishing rituals I was working through into something that I thought was harming me because I had religious indoctrination. Being an impressionable child, when someone said, “Oh, this is a demon,” my brain accepted it as truth. My brain thought, “Oh, that explains the pain, the loneliness, and why I can’t develop discipline.” The brain takes the path of least resistance.

It literally is that simple. If I give you an idea from three different vantage points, your brain goes, “Oh, it must be true.” That’s how we start producing personal realities. I perceived these things in my world as good versus evil and believed I was vulnerable, so I opened myself up to them, and they started happening in my life. These were aspects of my own infinite self that were being fragmented. As a result, I became more fragmented because I was judging parts of my own nature and creating more psychic dissonance. That’s what caused the pain in my psyche, not some demon torturing me. None of that happens in reality—it’s all self-induced.

The same way cancer exists in your body in a dormant state, it only comes to fruition when you offer it a supportive ecosystem. When there’s poor blood circulation or poor oxygenation in your cells, that creates an environment for it to come forward. The same thing applies to demonic possession, curses, and negative manifestations. They are the result of us creating that psychic environment by buying into narratives that don’t support us.

When I started working with this energy and stopped judging, I realized those narratives weren’t real. It wasn’t until later in life that I was able to break free from other indoctrinations that kept me in a reality where I was a victim. Because I was open to the idea of being cursed or possessed, it was easy for someone to use a few words and put me in that state. It was easy for someone to put that energy out there through a ritual, and my psyche would pick it up. We’re all connected via entanglement, so I’d do the rest of the work myself. I’d get a bad feeling and think, “Oh, something bad happened, someone cursed me,” instead of recognizing my power as a magician or sorcerer and thinking, “I don’t like this frequency, I’m going to change it.”

As I developed a new psychology, a new model of reality, I liberated myself from those things. When I started doing that, something interesting happened. As I was practicing clairvoyance and mediumship at the time as a spiritualist, I realized that I kept seeing this one black figure coming in. I thought, “Oh, this is the demon.” But as I dealt with my issues—my negative thinking, my belief in good versus evil, God versus the devil—I came to the philosophy that everything is a manifestation of the Eternal Self. Some might refer to this as God, the Ayn, or the Tao. Whatever your interpretation is, that fundamental concept helped me shift my perspective.

Because I had that fundamental interpretation and was open and not fearful, I could perceive the full range of experiences. It’s like being in a fight: if you’re freaked out and nervous, you close yourself off to information. But if you’re present, you can see the punch coming and do something about it. That shift happened because my psychology shifted. Suddenly, I realized that the dark demonic figure over me was actually my passed-over grandmother’s spirit trying to come in and hug me. But because of the dense energy, I perceived it as something dark. The second I relaxed and gave it the right energy without judgment and fear, I saw her for what she was. Suddenly, everything clicked: the spirit had been there all along, supporting me. The universe wasn’t an evil, dark place. My beliefs changed, and when they did, my health started to improve.

As my psychic environment started to improve, positive things began showing up in my life. Suddenly, my spells and magic started working and showing results because I was no longer causing resistance. When I was practicing sex magic, I started getting positive results because I wasn’t attaching shame to my practice. I wasn’t afraid that I was doing something bad. When I did that inner clearing, I became immune to demonic possession. I could practice mediumship, invoke any entity or force into my body, and when I was done, I was done.

Here’s why: possession starts with obsession. If you start obsessing about something and can’t stop thinking about it, you’ve lost control. It’s an unconscious narrative or unresolved need within your psyche. That’s why, even in the old Russian Christian magic tradition and the rituals of the Hermetic Order of the Golden Dawn, there’s a statement: “I am the exorcist in the midst of the exorcism.” That means when you change, everything changes. The spirit or the frequencies can only match you when there is rapport. The people in your life right now are a mirror of your frequency. If you’re getting curses, bad possessions, and bad things, you’re the problem—not the other people. It may suck to hear that, but it’s the truth. It’s only until you change your identity and vibration that those things will stop happening. You’ve got to stop giving it an environment for it to grow. That’s how it works.

When I started realizing this, I began mirror gazing and looking at the spirits, feeling the negative energies within. I asked myself, “What within me is opening this?” This is the old Huna philosophy. If there’s a tornado in the land, the Huna doesn’t say, “Oh, there’s a tornado.” He asks, “Where’s the tornado within me?” and goes to work on shifting that. As a result, the environment changes. The same is true as above, so below. Stop taking a victim mentality that everything and everyone can harm and hurt you. If you do, you’ll open yourself up to that harm.

I’m not saying be stupid—be aware of what you’re working with, but do the inner work. A professional martial artist recognizes that if they’re going to compete with a higher competitor, they’re going to train and prepare for that fight. They’re not going to immediately give up in their psychology and make themselves vulnerable to defeat. The same thing is important here. The types of people who can truly wield powerful forces have no interest in doing so. It’s the same as the adept martial artist who can really perform but isn’t the one starting the fight. In fact, they’re the last to start it. The ones who can’t are the ones throwing it around because they’re compensating. The same thing is true in the magical cultures. Anyone out there saying, “Oh, I’m going to do this,” is usually just an angry kid in mom’s basement.

Real adepts who have these abilities have no interest because they’ve done the inner work on themselves. They’re beyond the emotional rubbish. It’s the same old mentality where people try to take “dog” and “God,” your choice of which is more accurate, and bring it down to a personality human level instead of recognizing it’s in all of us and everything. It’s not limited to an ego. It’s not offended when you masturbate or do something wrong because you’re doing the best you can with the tools you’ve got. Those are all perversions and misinterpretations of original texts. It’s important to educate ourselves.

I had to go on a long journey to study almost every single religion out there to resolve these false narratives in my story. That’s become part of my teachings today. You may not have to do that, but you do have to do the work. If there’s indoctrination within you at some level, if there are unhealed parts of you, the thing that will prevent all these things is doing that work. If you’re in a debate with someone and you’re not emotionally reacting, you’ve already won. Whatever they say just bounces off you. As Richard Bandler always said, “He who feels the best always wins.” That’s the truth here too. If you are tuned to different vibrations, that’s it.

This is part of the power of true left-hand path psychology. When I was finally mature enough psychically to enter the left-hand path, I could see these demons and forces as representative archetypes of the negatives. But my relationship with them was no longer immature—it was mature. I could see myself in them and the benefit. Now, when I worked with Belial or Beelzebub, I was the lord of illness. That meant I was no longer the victim of illness. I was no longer feeling disease coming into my body and thinking, “Oh, I’m the victim; I need to get better.” Instead, I thought, “I’m the lord of this. I’m the master of this. This is my body; I’m in control.” As such, my illnesses were reduced, my pain and suffering were reduced, and I could manage them better because I wasn’t approaching them as a victim. I could be proactive about it.

There are other opportunities and things that open up as we work with these more advanced shadow dimensions of the self. But one of the core fundamental philosophies of the LHP traditions is that all things are manifestations of the fundamental self. We do not mean the ego or simply the personality. We mean the transcendence of the part of me that is within you, within all the trees—what many mystics would have called the Dao, the fundamental God, or whatever term you choose. That entangled quantum field connects every single one of us—that zero point. We’re all that. If we’re all that, then all these angels and demons are parts of us. Technically, we’re all possessed by everything and everyone.

The thing is, where do we lock ourselves in through the process of identification? That’s the result of these narratives and stories. When we change the narratives and stories, we change the spells that have been cast upon us. We start consciously casting new spells over ourselves, new narratives, and new stories into our world, into our ideals. Through the practice of our art, we begin to take charge of our lives and free ourselves from the victim mentality. We stop being slaves to other people’s doctrines that are outmoded and died, and we’re finally able to be a slave or devotee to the only philosophy that matters—the one in our own hearts. God or goddess, or the dragon, is within, and we need to be true to that.

It was the moment I realized that the universe is not playing dice. The moment I realized that God wouldn’t lead me to all this great enlightenment and wisdom just to say, “Ah, got you!” The moment I gave up this evil rubbish, the universe became supportive and loving, and I saw that every part of my journey was guided. When I changed my perspective, I saw the universe as a good, supportive place, and it became one.

If you want to live deliciously, it starts by having a psychology and philosophy that is delicious, whole, and says that everything you want is available to you and that you’re good enough for all of it because you are all of it. Then you can see all the parts of your life and realize they aren’t good or evil—they’re just aspects of you that are immature and need to be matured. As you go through that alchemical process, you come into the intimacy, the unity within yourself that religion was supposed to create. Religion, in its Latin root, means “to reconnect.” Reconnect with yourself in the light and the dark, see these aspects where they are, and mature them. Kali can be the destructive force, or she can become the goddess of time that helps you orchestrate and master music, linguistics, form, and all that because they’re all subject to time.