While this show has long drawn from the left-hand path, today I embrace a broader compass—what I call The Middle Way, or The Way of the Heart. It’s not about choosing light over dark or vice versa, but about weaving both into a path of wholeness and power.
To launch this new expression, I spoke with my dear friend and fellow teacher Valentina—a choreographer, dancer, tantric practitioner, and mystic whose work has captivated and healed many across the world. We caught up on Zoom from her home in Bali to explore the deeper mysteries of tantra, sacred sexuality, ecstatic love, and the transformative power of fear.
“You can’t fully live if you’re held by the leash of your fear.”
“Live life as a love affair with your own heart—be artistic about it.”
Tantra is not about technique—it’s about self-intimacy and surrender.
True initiation begins when we embrace fear as a doorway to ecstasy.
The sacred masculine offers love through presence and vulnerability; the sacred feminine chooses to receive from sovereignty.
Addiction to sex and porn comes from a closed heart. Open it, and the need dissolves.
Awakening must be integrated slowly, or it risks destabilizing the nervous system.
The erotic and the mystical are deeply intertwined—but only accessible through the death of ego and false identity.
Sex, at its highest, is not performance but a prayer—made with the whole being.
“When fear consumes you, let it. That’s where ecstasy begins.”
“True orgasm is not loud—it’s a quiver, a whisper of God moving through your skin.”
Valentina begins by sharing a powerful teaching from Balinese tantric cosmology: humanity stands between gods and demons—not to conquer either, but to harmonize both. Western spirituality, she observes, often teaches us to defeat the dark and ascend to light. But this mindset creates disconnection and repression. “Too much light blinds,” she says. “Sometimes we need a little chaos to bring equilibrium.”
True tantra doesn’t ask us to become “better people.” It asks us to become whole people. To stop running from the shadow and instead, dance with it. To see that fear, heartbreak, jealousy, and rage are not obstructions—they are initiations. They are invitations to presence.
One of the most profound ideas discussed is what Valentina calls the erotic power of fear. She teaches a practice (available for free on YouTube) that guides students through becoming their fear—feeling it fully, surrendering to it, even inviting death if it must come. Only by entering fear can we access true ecstasy.
“You can’t fully live if you’re held by the leash of your fear,” she says. “If you can’t feel the depth of your sorrow, you’ll never feel the depth of your joy.”
Many people seek tantric sex to attain mystical orgasms. But what Valentina reveals is that the journey has nothing to do with method and everything to do with vulnerability. True orgasm, she says, often begins with silence. Not in performance, but in presence. It’s not loud—it’s subtle. Like the breath of God quivering through your nervous system.
Tantra isn’t about “doing it right.” It’s about offering everything. Your fear. Your story. Your false self. This is the sacrifice—and only then does the divine move through you.
Valentina describes her own lineage of tantra as the lineage of the heart. It’s a path of seduction, presence, and sacred eros. But it demands everything of the seeker. “If I were Kali, I’d ask for your life,” she says, laughing gently. “Your comfort zone, your attachments, your roles—they must burn.”
And for those who fear the burning? That’s okay. Some will pause. Some will turn back. But for those who desire ecstasy, who are willing to love the mystery more than their history—they will pass through the fire.
Valentina redefines masculine and feminine sexuality through tantric eyes. A woman can have her legs open, but if her heart is closed, nothing gets in. A man may penetrate physically, but if his heart is closed, nothing is truly given.
In tantra, the penis is not a weapon—it is a prayer. The tip, delicate like the human heart, becomes an offering of love. And the woman, as initiator, decides the rhythm, the depth, the unfolding.
The act of love, then, is not about taking. It is about reverence. Consciousness entering form. Form responding with sacred choice.
One of the most healing reframes Valentina offers is this: addiction to sex, porn, and stimulation arises when the heart is closed. We seek more, and yet are never fulfilled. But when the heart is fully penetrated—when presence is full—there is no need for repetition. One union is enough. One moment of truth can last a lifetime.
This, she says, is why true tantrics often make love less—not more. Not because of lack, but because of fullness.
We also discuss spiritual awakening and its dangers. When the Kundalini rises, when reality breaks open—if a person hasn’t done the integration work, the system can shatter.
“You take three steps forward and two back,” Valentina says. “And that’s okay. It’s healthy. It’s integration.”
Trying to go too fast, too hard, often leads to madness. And the world is not built to support mystical transformation. So we must go slowly, deliberately, and with community.
How do you relate to others once you’ve opened up spiritually or sexually? The answer, Valentina says, is simple:
You stop trying to convince. You become curious about others. You let them speak. You ask about their lives. You don’t need to prove your transformation—you live it. Quietly. Lovingly. Authentically.
We dive deep into the paradox of sacred sexuality. How men must realize their cock is their heart. How women must realize they are the initiators. And how both must unlearn cultural conditioning that has made sex an act of conquest or performance.
“When a man sees the tip of his penis as his heart, he becomes tender,” she says. “He becomes discerning. He chooses where he offers his love.”
And when a woman honors herself as temple, she chooses whether to receive. Not from fear, but from power.
Valentina offers a deeply transformative online course called The Yoga of Sex, which contains solo and partner practices to embody these truths. It is the first step before working with her in person.
She also offers a powerful in-person retreat called The Lovers Training in South Africa every November and December, where students dive deep into tantric ritual, embodiment, and sacred touch.
In her closing words, Valentina says:
“Live life as a love affair with your own heart. Be artistic about it. Even as the world burns, dance, sing, and make beauty. This is what life is for. Make love to fear. Make art with fear. Don’t resist it—consecrate it.”
Valentina Leo is a mystic, teacher of erotic wisdom, and devoted explorer of the Tantric path. Originally from Italy and based in Cape Town for over two decades, she has guided countless seekers through classes, retreats, and private sessions rooted in the tradition of Kashmir Shaivism. A Dakini of the lineage of Fascinating Wonderment, her teachings are raw, intuitive, and radically present—inviting full-bodied devotion to the Mystery. Through the Yoga of Presence and mystical union with vast emptiness, Valentina calls her students to become deeply intimate with reality.
“Your cock is your heart. Offer it with reverence, not conquest.”
“She may open her legs, but if her heart is closed, you are not inside her.”
“Love your mystery more than your history.”
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